Leading means sometimes failing

Great video from Craig Groeschel via TonyMorganLive.com via TallyWilgis.com


Bookie from LifeChurch.tv on Vimeo.


My biggest leadership flaw is the fear of failure. But over the past year, God has brought me so far along in this only through one method...FAILING! In one of the biggest flops of my life, I now am a better husband, father, friend, believer, and leader. The transparency that I now have is crazy open.

When I watched the video above, Craig said "I am not a failure, I failed, but I am not a failure...God is going to teach me something in this". That was the lesson....I can fall, and fall, and fall but what matters is that I Try, Fail, Learn, and Adjust.

I can't wait to take Bailey, our scared to ride a bike 4-year-old, outside and teach her this life lesson. not just so she will learn to ride but that throughout her life she will be able to LEAD!

Copying but worth it

I was reading Matt Willmington's blog this morning and it blew me away. Men used to look at me awkwardly about why I was so adamant about my restrictions with female contact but, my history, requires it. So I am re posting his blog here for everyone to see so that maybe a man or woman will see something in their life that needs to change to better their spouse or themselves.

Locking the rooftop door.

Posted on February 13, 2009 by willmington

One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace.

2 Samuel 11

It may seem like a strange sentiment, but this Valentine’s Day I am checking over the following list of ways to “lock the door to the rooftop.” No specific temptations in my marriage. I am just very grateful for my godly, beautiful wife of 21 years. I’ve watched too many friends and church leaders fall. I know my own weaknesses and don’t want to ever be arrogant when it comes to assessing my moral strength.

I once had a pastor who built some specific fences in his life. He’d tell the congregation “if I’m driving in a rain storm, and one of you ladies is broken down along the road – I’m not stopping for you!” We all laughed, and it seemed a little extreme. But we knew what he meant. He dearly loved his wife, and would err on the side of caution to stay away from temptation. These “rooftop door deadbolts” may seem a little legalistic – that’s ok, because they are MY deadbolts.

What are yours?

1. What Internet pictures/content am I viewing, lingering on?
2. Am I following or connecting with any women inappropriately on Facebook, Twitter?
3. Am I communicating inappropriately with any women through email?
4. Am I communicating inappropriately with any women through texting?
5. Which women have my cell phone number?
6. Am I socializing singularly, or growing a close friendship with any women?
7. Am I spending time counseling any women alone?
8. Am I working too closely with any women on staff?
9. Am I looking at, or thinking about women inappropriately?
10. Who are the men who hold me accountable spiritually for my moral life?
11. Is my wife aware of my struggles, weaknesses?
12. Do I look at my wife when we talk, do I watch her?
13. Do I daydream about my wife?
14. Do I listen to my wife when she is sharing her thoughts?
15. Do I show physical affection to my wife?
16. What plans, visions do I have for my wife’s life?
17. Do I work to help my wife grow spiritually?
18. Do I work to add value to my wife’s life?
19. Do I empower my wife to pursue her dreams, passions, interests?
20. Do I pray with my wife?
21. Do I serve my wife?
22. Do I help my wife parent our children?
23. Do I protect my wife?
24. Do I lift, carry my wife’s burdens?
25. Do I build my wife’s self-image with affirming words?

Matt was the first person who showed me how to take an interest in a teenagers life and it transformed me. I know that these standards will as well. Thanks Matt

I LOVE MY WIFE!!!

R

Elephants and Antjie Krog

So I just wrapped up Don Miller's To Own a Dragon and the ending was an incredible insight into grace for me. Check out this little excerpt (I feel awkward for plagiarizing),
"And I heard the term before,Wounded Healer. Yet, I had never applied the term to my life. It makes you wonder, doesn't it, whether or not God calls specific people who have specific pain to the authority of empathy? Experience is, after all, the best education. I am the one who will wrestle with security, I am the one who will overcome my fear of intimacy, I am the one who will learn the hard task of staying with a woman and our children, I am the one who will mentor others through the difficult journey of life, perhaps rescuing them from what I have been rescued"...
I took creative liberty to change some of this to make it more personal to me. As I went back and put "I am the one" in bold, I realized that I was leaving something out. Yes, even though it is understood, it must be said. God is the one who kept me through all of the junk in my life. Junk that must be used to help someone else. Too many people use their own junk selfishly. But thankfully, Don Miller didn't. And I will not either. The question is now, what do I do with it. Is it just talking one on one, is it being involved in a group and leading them through it, or even starting an organization for men and people who need this.
The prayer is that God takes the junk and molds it into something beautiful, like pottery. I heard somewhere that He is considered a potter...sarcasm intended.
But through pain comes joy. A rose bush becomes beautiful only after it is pruned. If it goes untended then it becomes overgrown with a bunch of stuff that stunts its growth and beauty.
I have been pruned and fed with a gracious God, THE MOST INCREDIBLE WIFE, ASHLEY, an incredible amount of genuine friends, and the strength to overcome me, to not be me. Livin the dream

Economic Crunch

Images of what has become in our culture! It may seem tough for some people but for me , at this moment, the economy is not my concern. What is my concern? My understanding that I realized last night that I wonder if I really KNOW Jesus? Cognitively, yes. Am I His follower?yes. but the truth is if He walked through my front door to talk to me and He said "remember the time I"....I am not so sure I would know what He was talking about. Sobering and motivating. He said "ask and you shall receive, knock and it shall be opened to you". I get glimpses of who he is but I want so much more.

G.I. Joe

I am very excited for the release of the GI Joe movie (this coming summer). And that little tidbit has nothing to do with today's post.
I went to Dr. Bowker's (Chiropractor) office yesterday and I want to give you a time line of the events:
a)I walk in and sit down I was greeted by the usual ..always chirpy,happy,enthusiastic,genuine nurses.
b)Read a good little bit of To Own a Dragon (still awesome). Saw some incredible stuff about decision making. He learned some incredible lessons through learning how to play chess.
I realized that noone has ever taught me how to make decisions. I have always leaned on my own circumstances and feelings. And sure, that can work sometimes, but it definitely explains some of the hiccups along my journey.
c)I get led into Doc's office to wait while he is with a patient. And I keep reading.
d) Doc walks in and asks how I am doing. The following is the dialogue:
I reply,"I just found out the key to life".
Bowker: " Oh yeah, what's that"
Me:"Making the right decisions"
Bowker: "How do you make the right decisions"?
Me:"You have to be taught how".
Bowker: "Very true"
Bowker: "The best decision you can make in your life is to tell the truth"
Me:"Wow"
Bowker: " And we must also forgive people, starting with ourselves"

BOOYAH!! This guy is no joke. I walk through the office, eyes misting, and I get in my car and cry. I have NEVER been able to forgive myself for much in my life. I am great at giving grace and forgiveness to others but I have an incessantly troubling time forgiving or accepting God's grace on my own life. That is until now.
Miller writes that his life changed the time he was in the IRS office and he was told that he owed 17,000 dollars in back taxes. At that point, he realized that he was never taught about good decision making processes. And that is what has blown me away today. Decision making is important and I was never taught the right way to do that. But Doc showed me the two best decisions that I could make was to always tell the truth and forgive myself. 34 years later and I get it!